Here among the shadows hung deep and black, cast against adjacent walls; our minds wander aimlessly through the burning questions we have managed to escape for part of another day. However, in still times when our minds break our elusive game of escape those burning questions arise with a defiant air; screaming to the forefront of all thought and attempted imagination. You all know the questions I’m talking about. They are the ones we hardly bring up because the answers are either too elusive or too broad or too relative or too…always too everything, too big and too much and too heavy to dwell on for any length of time.
Despite the size and depth and uncertainty of such questions, WE MUST think on them often. We must hold a fondness for them. To be well acquainted with every single one of them: for these questions are the key to what we are missing.
There are passions burning so deep in all of us-even for those who say they have no passions, at some point you did, now you may be so crafty at pushing them away that you have forgotten them altogether; this does not negate the fact those passion did rage. And somewhere in that hollow shell of humanity bearing the image of someone so other than human, those passions still exist.
These passions point us home.
I’m not talking about sexual passion, monetary passion or half formed emotional passion. I am speaking about the deep kind, born of years of looking out on the world and feeling something move in us every time we hear or see or feel. It could be art, music, literature, people, plants or whatever, but those passions are a direct link between the part of “us” that society has rendered and the side of “us” that they have never been able to touch.
The potential resting there is not able to be measured. I heard a man say once that passion always precedes purpose… and there have a nagging question…
What is my purpose?
It nags and aches and festers until we either beat it down so badly we forget that we ever thought it or embrace it and find that those passions locked in us move us toward the purpose we so desperately want.
Purpose is a sword in the mouth of many people. Those who don’t know it are cut viciously and refuse to pursue it from fear. We look at those scars and scoff, laughing at ourselves for ever giving flight to such a fancy as living with purpose. Our world in its broken state teaches us that purpose was lost a long time ago. That people don’t live for purpose, they live to live. This lie is destroying the lives of thousands.
There are others though who learn to use that sword and cut through every obstacle blocking their path. And those people look at their scars and value, in greater measure, what it took to get where they are.
We have to listen to the little things cause they are always first to know when the big things come.
And when those little passions flare, we have to stop and ask “why does this thing always move me, why does it keep coming up, why am I always captured by it?” Those answers will not always be readily available but by choosing to pursue a passion we find our purpose.
By questioning ourselves we will be forced to find answers or at least seek after them. Those answers could lead us to places we may have been blind to but they are sure to lead us.
It is of no small task to live in a place of purpose; it will challenge and refine us push us to the limits of who we are. But there is a fulfillment there that cannot be had from any other place.
We must lay hold of our purpose and pursue it violently; with passion and faith enough to keep us running after it that even after having no favor come we may one day happen upon it and from there begin to live as an effective change in a world that is always looking for a reason to live.
Thursday, August 20, 2009
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
The two natures; PART 2
The two natures; PART 2
Jacob, he was a son of Abraham. The genealogies list it like this, The God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob. The crazy thing here is Jacob was not the first born. He was not the one to be listed in that line, it should say Abraham, Isaac and Esau.
But something happened.
Esau sold his birthright to Jacob. There are a couple things that could trip us up here. Can a birthright be sold? Aren’t you born into it? Is it even tangible?
Yes, yes and yes.
As I said previously about Esau, The birth right that he sold was not only about a parental blessing it was about taking the word of God at face value. But this is about the nature of Jacob…
Jacob was supplanter, he schemed he lied, and he deceived. So how did one like this ever get the blessing of God that would bring about the redemption of mankind?
After Esau sold his birthright, later Jacob tricked his father and lied to him-with the help of his mother; from that lie Jacob received the blessing due to the first born. This blessing wasn’t just about saying something nice about the first son, by receiving that blessing Jacob literally became as the first born.
After this he fled and married Leah and then Rachel. He had twelve sons. He later left his father in law and after some turbulent affairs came to a place where he was going to meet Esau. Jacob hangs here in a place of fear and uncertainty. His nature flares up again, he attempts to appease his brothers perceived anger by sending gifts.
And then something changes…
In Genesis 32:24
“…and then Jacob was left alone; and a Man wrestled with him until the breaking of the day. 25Now when he saw that he-the man-did not prevail against him-Jacob, He touched the socket of his hip; and the socket of Jacobs hip was out of joint as he wrestled with him. 26And He said, ‘let me go, for the day breaks.’ But he said ‘I will not let you go unless you bless me!’…” In the following versus the angel asks him his name and then renames him “ISRAEL” which meaning “God prevails”
Jacob stepped into something.
Despite his nature of deceit he grabbed hold of God and would not let go until God blessed him. Even after being wounded by God he still held on and said “I will not let go.” Within us as believers in God and His son Jesus we have these natures in us. They both fall grossly short of God; proving our need.
There are times, moments of destiny if you will, when we step into a moment so divine we must tread lightly and violently. “For heaven suffers violence and the violent take it by force.” Jacob grabbed hold of heaven with violence and even after being physically struck and afflicted he would not let go. We have to have that same quality in ourselves. Esau forsook that covenant for food. Jacob held onto it even in the face of physical affliction.
The natures we have in us will either bring us to a place of raw abandonment and leaning on God or to the destruction of our souls and separation from Him.
Jacob held true to who God and pursued the Lords blessing over his life and became the one from whom the 12 patriarchs came. He gave birth to 12 pillars of which the world’s destiny would be forever linked to...
Jacob, he was a son of Abraham. The genealogies list it like this, The God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob. The crazy thing here is Jacob was not the first born. He was not the one to be listed in that line, it should say Abraham, Isaac and Esau.
But something happened.
Esau sold his birthright to Jacob. There are a couple things that could trip us up here. Can a birthright be sold? Aren’t you born into it? Is it even tangible?
Yes, yes and yes.
As I said previously about Esau, The birth right that he sold was not only about a parental blessing it was about taking the word of God at face value. But this is about the nature of Jacob…
Jacob was supplanter, he schemed he lied, and he deceived. So how did one like this ever get the blessing of God that would bring about the redemption of mankind?
After Esau sold his birthright, later Jacob tricked his father and lied to him-with the help of his mother; from that lie Jacob received the blessing due to the first born. This blessing wasn’t just about saying something nice about the first son, by receiving that blessing Jacob literally became as the first born.
After this he fled and married Leah and then Rachel. He had twelve sons. He later left his father in law and after some turbulent affairs came to a place where he was going to meet Esau. Jacob hangs here in a place of fear and uncertainty. His nature flares up again, he attempts to appease his brothers perceived anger by sending gifts.
And then something changes…
In Genesis 32:24
“…and then Jacob was left alone; and a Man wrestled with him until the breaking of the day. 25Now when he saw that he-the man-did not prevail against him-Jacob, He touched the socket of his hip; and the socket of Jacobs hip was out of joint as he wrestled with him. 26And He said, ‘let me go, for the day breaks.’ But he said ‘I will not let you go unless you bless me!’…” In the following versus the angel asks him his name and then renames him “ISRAEL” which meaning “God prevails”
Jacob stepped into something.
Despite his nature of deceit he grabbed hold of God and would not let go until God blessed him. Even after being wounded by God he still held on and said “I will not let go.” Within us as believers in God and His son Jesus we have these natures in us. They both fall grossly short of God; proving our need.
There are times, moments of destiny if you will, when we step into a moment so divine we must tread lightly and violently. “For heaven suffers violence and the violent take it by force.” Jacob grabbed hold of heaven with violence and even after being physically struck and afflicted he would not let go. We have to have that same quality in ourselves. Esau forsook that covenant for food. Jacob held onto it even in the face of physical affliction.
The natures we have in us will either bring us to a place of raw abandonment and leaning on God or to the destruction of our souls and separation from Him.
Jacob held true to who God and pursued the Lords blessing over his life and became the one from whom the 12 patriarchs came. He gave birth to 12 pillars of which the world’s destiny would be forever linked to...
Saturday, August 8, 2009
flowers in the desert
I have been in a real place of breaking recently, I don’t mean the “ow, that hurts stop poking me” I mean like the “AHHHHHHHH” flesh being pulled back and nailed to a wooden plank as your heart is plucked out and crushed until you bleed love-kind of breaking. Simply said, it has been great. No I’m not being sarcastic; in all honestly it has been amazing. How? Think of childbirth, a lot of pain and screaming and agony but there is definitely a joy in the process that something is changing and in the middle of all that discomfort there is the thought, “something is about to be born.”
That is where I am at, something is about to be born. Despite the ill fated nights of my clandestineness, where I was hiding beneath sheets of flesh trying to flesh out that ghastly nature of fleshly fleshiness; I have reached the point of having true joy in my position.
Recently I was rather taken aback by a simple but powerful encouragement via YouTube. In said encouragement, this dude was talking about “callings” and where people are at how to know what God has for you, said dude…said, “it isn’t about your ‘calling’ so to speak but rather what God has for you where you are now, you have to take it one day at a time and give yourself to the season you’re in now without living in the future that doesn’t exist yet. Find what you can and want to do know and run after it with the release of God.”
Too often we pass by what god has for us now by wasting our imagination and focus on what he will give us in the future. Today I know God has something for me, I just have to spend time with him so I know how to listen to what that is. This sounds simple and matter-of-fact-ish, but the truth is “it ain’t that easy.”
To love God is to pursue God and to pursue God means an active zeal in our hearts to push ourselves-through his grace-toward the ever so misquoted “prize.” That prize is Jesus himself. Everything else comes secondary to Him; Every ministry, Person and whatever half cocked Greek reasoned, self justified argument you could bring to deliver the contrary: in short lads and lass’, Jesus is the ultimate trump card.
So with this new place of broken joy, I am finding the desert to be a far more fruitful place than the dark soil of life’s little lessons. I don’t do little, I do big and I mean BIG. I know something is being born because I feel in my soul the pangs that it is taking to bring it forth.
All this is simple I know, I detest simple, useless diatribe aimed at reminding us that we are going to be ok and we are wrong for thinking otherwise. Are we wrong to think otherwise?
YES
But that is not the point, point is we live in a state of grace where it is not of works, and we are not debtors to the law.
It is way better this way, trust me.
So with a simple page or two of my ranting that seems so light hearted, I am conveying in part, 6 months of churning and tears and often times cuss filled frustrations at life and my circumstances, wanting more of God but knowing I was letting myself get in the way. Nights where my sleep was scattered, my heart more weighty than black hole and days of despair, destitution and bitter bitter, bitter words of a man that is long dead, “Though He slay me, yet I will trust Him.”
Ladies and men of the Gentle…hearts, He is faithful to fulfill what he promised. So with that, “keep on keepin on” and don’t wait for the future, make a Wave now, make it so big it knocks people over and leaves others sitting dumbfounded wanting to make one to.
If you want it bad enough, be ready to wear the sackcloth and ashes before you get the mantle and miracles.
Broken by grace, consumed by faith
Levi
That is where I am at, something is about to be born. Despite the ill fated nights of my clandestineness, where I was hiding beneath sheets of flesh trying to flesh out that ghastly nature of fleshly fleshiness; I have reached the point of having true joy in my position.
Recently I was rather taken aback by a simple but powerful encouragement via YouTube. In said encouragement, this dude was talking about “callings” and where people are at how to know what God has for you, said dude…said, “it isn’t about your ‘calling’ so to speak but rather what God has for you where you are now, you have to take it one day at a time and give yourself to the season you’re in now without living in the future that doesn’t exist yet. Find what you can and want to do know and run after it with the release of God.”
Too often we pass by what god has for us now by wasting our imagination and focus on what he will give us in the future. Today I know God has something for me, I just have to spend time with him so I know how to listen to what that is. This sounds simple and matter-of-fact-ish, but the truth is “it ain’t that easy.”
To love God is to pursue God and to pursue God means an active zeal in our hearts to push ourselves-through his grace-toward the ever so misquoted “prize.” That prize is Jesus himself. Everything else comes secondary to Him; Every ministry, Person and whatever half cocked Greek reasoned, self justified argument you could bring to deliver the contrary: in short lads and lass’, Jesus is the ultimate trump card.
So with this new place of broken joy, I am finding the desert to be a far more fruitful place than the dark soil of life’s little lessons. I don’t do little, I do big and I mean BIG. I know something is being born because I feel in my soul the pangs that it is taking to bring it forth.
All this is simple I know, I detest simple, useless diatribe aimed at reminding us that we are going to be ok and we are wrong for thinking otherwise. Are we wrong to think otherwise?
YES
But that is not the point, point is we live in a state of grace where it is not of works, and we are not debtors to the law.
It is way better this way, trust me.
So with a simple page or two of my ranting that seems so light hearted, I am conveying in part, 6 months of churning and tears and often times cuss filled frustrations at life and my circumstances, wanting more of God but knowing I was letting myself get in the way. Nights where my sleep was scattered, my heart more weighty than black hole and days of despair, destitution and bitter bitter, bitter words of a man that is long dead, “Though He slay me, yet I will trust Him.”
Ladies and men of the Gentle…hearts, He is faithful to fulfill what he promised. So with that, “keep on keepin on” and don’t wait for the future, make a Wave now, make it so big it knocks people over and leaves others sitting dumbfounded wanting to make one to.
If you want it bad enough, be ready to wear the sackcloth and ashes before you get the mantle and miracles.
Broken by grace, consumed by faith
Levi
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