There is an answer to prayer that is not the pretty little breeze of blessing; the beautiful conquering of some ill bred foe; the joy of a heart saved from self destruction. There is an answer which is ugly and grotesque, rank and flail-worthy; where screaming and kicking is the song and rhythm of your life. When you ask to have the heart of God: when you say you want to love more deeply than anything you have seen, to love the broken and downtrodden; side by side to the rich man; the pockets of whom are too swollen for him to know what it feels like to fall on his rump.
This answer comes in the complete destruction of oneself, the slow decay of every foundation and solid footing. The breaking of a man is one of the ugliest things I have ever seen in my life. Not to be hasty and judge the ugly things of no sure use, for they are. Before you build you have to lay waste, before you plant you have to plow.
It is a bitter thing to willingly subject oneself in a joining to the heart of God. Whoever says such a thing is a constant joy is a liar and a thief. The former for they cannot have the heart of God and not know the sorrow that is there, joy-yes-but sorrow also. The latter because such a damned fool is stealing truth from the hearts of honest people.
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
I
Broken concrete beneath my bleeding feet
You said stand
So here I am bleeding to death
Beneath bright skies that should stir joy
But inside this rubble laced coffin
I am suffocating
I could have died a thousand other places
With a bit more dignity
With some semblance of sober pride
But I have become a mockery
Will you let the righteous be forsaken?
CERTAINLY NOT
So come then
Swiftly, for I am no sparrow
I am falling without wings
Into a pit of darkness
Like death’s gaping mouth
Spreading to swallow the living
I will not waver
For you are sure to defend your name
You said stand
So here I am bleeding to death
Beneath bright skies that should stir joy
But inside this rubble laced coffin
I am suffocating
I could have died a thousand other places
With a bit more dignity
With some semblance of sober pride
But I have become a mockery
Will you let the righteous be forsaken?
CERTAINLY NOT
So come then
Swiftly, for I am no sparrow
I am falling without wings
Into a pit of darkness
Like death’s gaping mouth
Spreading to swallow the living
I will not waver
For you are sure to defend your name
Thursday, July 9, 2009
Valued Friends and family alike:
These letters are of no new insight to you. Once again I am seeking anyone willing to partner with me in what the Lord has set in my heart.
For those who don’t know where I have been, I am living in Springfield, Illinois working to help build a house of prayer and going to school fulltime. In the past year I have been working, doing school and part time prayer room staff. All year was a balancing act and by the grace of God I made it through.
However, this year I do not wish to repeat walking such a delicate and treacherous line. I want to go fulltime staff and be free to pursue other ministry needs the lord has laid on my heart. One is planting a campus church as an off branch of the house of prayer here. I need time to do this and I cannot take on anything else unless my work schedule is reduced. In addition to all of this I will be helping to form and teach an internship in the spring.
Since I have been here we have seen breakthrough in many areas. The mandate for this prayer room is governmental intercession. Two main examples of breakthrough would be the racial reconciliation meetings for the 1908 race riots. After the walks and meetings were completed, out of nowhere the medical community and the mayor released a public apology for the mistreatment of blacks during those riots. Again, last fall we began to pray for corrupt officials to be exposed and their sin to be made bare, shortly after the governor was impeached and continuing even to this moment many scandals are coming to light in Illinois politics.
Any contribution will give me leeway to run harder and give more time to the task at hand, to contribute not just to a house of prayer but a place where the broken and downtrodden can come and receive healing. To plant and raise up a campus church that will be meeting needs of students and bringing light to a world of muddled humanistic academia. And to prepare myself and others for the next mass student missions movement.
Any contribution, even 5 or 10 dollars a month will give me more time in the prayer room and to establish the campus ministry. I am seeking consistent monthly partners in prayer and financial support.
Will you consider partnering with me to fulfill what God has set in my heart?
All donations are tax deductible (with the exception of online donations through paypal) Please leave the “for” line blank. You may donate online through paypal at www.leviferguson.blogspot.com
Please make checks payable to: IHOP springfield contributions may be sent to- ATTN: LEVI FERGUSON 624 south 4th st. Springfield, Il 62703
Broken by grace, consumed by faith,
Levi Ferguson.
These letters are of no new insight to you. Once again I am seeking anyone willing to partner with me in what the Lord has set in my heart.
For those who don’t know where I have been, I am living in Springfield, Illinois working to help build a house of prayer and going to school fulltime. In the past year I have been working, doing school and part time prayer room staff. All year was a balancing act and by the grace of God I made it through.
However, this year I do not wish to repeat walking such a delicate and treacherous line. I want to go fulltime staff and be free to pursue other ministry needs the lord has laid on my heart. One is planting a campus church as an off branch of the house of prayer here. I need time to do this and I cannot take on anything else unless my work schedule is reduced. In addition to all of this I will be helping to form and teach an internship in the spring.
Since I have been here we have seen breakthrough in many areas. The mandate for this prayer room is governmental intercession. Two main examples of breakthrough would be the racial reconciliation meetings for the 1908 race riots. After the walks and meetings were completed, out of nowhere the medical community and the mayor released a public apology for the mistreatment of blacks during those riots. Again, last fall we began to pray for corrupt officials to be exposed and their sin to be made bare, shortly after the governor was impeached and continuing even to this moment many scandals are coming to light in Illinois politics.
Any contribution will give me leeway to run harder and give more time to the task at hand, to contribute not just to a house of prayer but a place where the broken and downtrodden can come and receive healing. To plant and raise up a campus church that will be meeting needs of students and bringing light to a world of muddled humanistic academia. And to prepare myself and others for the next mass student missions movement.
Any contribution, even 5 or 10 dollars a month will give me more time in the prayer room and to establish the campus ministry. I am seeking consistent monthly partners in prayer and financial support.
Will you consider partnering with me to fulfill what God has set in my heart?
All donations are tax deductible (with the exception of online donations through paypal) Please leave the “for” line blank. You may donate online through paypal at www.leviferguson.blogspot.com
Please make checks payable to: IHOP springfield contributions may be sent to- ATTN: LEVI FERGUSON 624 south 4th st. Springfield, Il 62703
Broken by grace, consumed by faith,
Levi Ferguson.
Saturday, July 4, 2009
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