The want and the order

I walked out to feel the cool wind blowing across my sweat laden face. the day was hot, but now as the sun was retiring to his bed it had grown peaceful, the cicadas stopped their song, and the birds their games. Now there was silence and stillness, except for the wind wiping my brow. The day was good; like salt to a bland routine. I stood there in silence as i listened to my heart. It was reeling to and fro, angry that i have to leave, happy that i am going, torn from the life it has now come to accept and want. My mind was calm, repeating the order again and again. We must go to HONG KONG. We must go, we must go...It's hard though when your always going alone; no stepping stones leading here or there, only a faint whisper deep in your soul that said "go." But my mind resolute, overcame my heart, and my heart knowing the order was good submitted, uttering his last words of caution and grief. The wind pushed me, so i followed his leading down the broken sidewalk, reminding me more of my broken heart. As soon as i saw it, the big red sign at the end of the street, it was like a luminous sign from God saying "STOP". So i stopped. I gazed further back as i saw glimmers of light in the field beyond the street. I laughed, The lights were fireflies. And that is when it hit me; God was taking me to the edge, pushing, pushing, pushing harder than i have ever felt; "move, march, contend for it," He said. And as i reached the end of the street in the natural to see the twilight come alive with bright flickers of hope. God was pushing me away from everything because there is something he wants me to see. I know now that there is lights dancing upon the breath of darkness as if it were a platform for them; scarring Its tongue with each flicker of beauty. I have to go to Hong Kong. I have to see the lights dancing in the fields of emptiness there. I just know there is something in those lights, something that will change me and everyone around me...

p.s.
I'm not leaving for another year, i have to go to school for a year in the states first.